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  • Nobody cares about our feelings, thoughts, or worries
  • Nobody wants to hear about our feelings or thoughts
  • People think our feelings and/or thoughts are irrational, regardless
  • We constantly get gaslighted whenever we have a negative feeling or thought
  • People think we’re crazy, no good, or incapable of change
  • People think we’re manipulative, game-playing liars who will never change or get better
  • Nobody who doesn’t have BPD understands BPD. They are just not capable of understanding it without having lived with it
  • We’re not allowed to have any negative feelings, thoughts, or worries like “normal” people are
  • If we do get up the courage to express any negative emotion or thought, we are immediately dismissed and gaslighted
  • When we are repeatedly dismissed and gaslighted, we tend to shut down and become fearful of the repeated behavior if we speak up again
  • We suffer, alone, lonely, in pain, and in despair from bottling up our emotions, feelings, thoughts, and worries, yet we feel anxiety at even the thought of expressing them because then we will be forced to feel dismissed and rejected from the gaslighting we endure
  • Nobody cares about us
  • Nobody loves us
  • We are worthless
  • We will never be truly loved
  • Our feelings don’t matter
  • We don’t matter
  • We can never win
  • We can never be truly happy
  • We are doomed to suffer alone
  • We are not allowed to have any negative feelings at all, ever
  • Everybody confirms our worthlessness by: dismissing our feelings, thoughts, and worries (all of them, even valid ones), gaslighting us whenever we worry or need reassurance, calling us crazy, saying our brains are distorted, saying that “normal people” are better than us, saying that their lives are better when we’re not around, comparing us to other people they’ve been with or people they could be with, threatening to do to us the things we fear the most, saying that we’re not allowed to talk about our feelings, thoughts, or worries, being told to shut up and keep it to ourselves, being told that we’re wasting their time, being told that we’re incapable of change, being told we’re not believed about anything, being told that we’re a bother, being told that we’re manipulative, being told “nobody wants to be with someone with Borderline”, etc
  • We’re told that everything is our fault
  • It’s hopeless
  • Maybe I am just crazy
  • Maybe I am just stupid
  • People think we’re too stupid to understand that we need to change some things, never knowing or understanding themselves that we want that more than anything
  • That we don’t mean anything, that we’re not special, and that we’ll never make a difference in this world
  • People tell us that we’ll never change or even improve at all
  • That we will get hurt if we act vulnerable at all
  • People take advantage of our insecurities and vulnerabilities
  • “Normal” people are allowed to feel hurt, jealous, etc, but we’re not
  • People tell us that our thoughts and feelings are irrational
  • When people tell us “it’s just your Borderline and has nothing to do with me”, it makes us feel dismissed, gaslighted, and like we’re not allowed to have feelings or emotions
  • We feel like it’s a mistake to talk about our feelings
  • We get gaslighted to the point of completely shutting down, bottling everything up, and ending up being lonely, feeling rejected, alone, in pain, and in despair, destined to suffer alone forever
  • We lose no matter what we do or how hard we try
  • We get no credit for effort or progress of any kind
  • If we speak up about our feelings, thoughts, or worries, we’re gaslighted to the point of never wanting to speak again
  • If we keep quiet and bottle it up, we suffer, lonely, alone, and in despair
  • We want to end our suffering, and we will try anything to do that, even ending our lives
  • We don’t want to die, we simply want to end our suffering
  • Suicide is really the only option to end our suffering
  • We’re never heard
  • We suffer constantly, lonely, alone, in pain, and in despair
  • We’re fucked, doomed to either suffer constantly, or to end our lives to stop the pain
  • Everybody hates us
  • We suffer constantly
  • We’re a burden on everybody
  • Nobody will ever truly love us
  • We deserve to suffer
  • We don’t deserve love
  • We’re a burden and not easy to deal with, but when we love someone, we love with all of our heart, so much more than anyone could imagine, and that scares us out of our minds because we then fear getting rejected and abandoned by the person we love so much, and we know that we will get abandoned by them, and we fear it so much, but we know that everybody will abandon us, we’re used to it, but it’s still painful and it still hurts us, cuts us deep every time, no matter how many times it has happened before
  • Either we suffer alone, lonely, in pain, and in despair, or we suffer while speaking up, then getting gaslighted and villianized, told we’re crazy and dismissed, ending up feeling alone, lonely, in pain, and in despair. We’re in a lose-lose situation
  • It makes us so sad that we will never truly be loved
  • It hurts us that we will never know what true love is, that we’ll never experience unconditional love, and that we’ll never know what it feels like to be truly cared about
  • People tell us “I might stay with you if you change”, and then add “but I don’t believe you ever will”. That’s the stinger right there. We want to change so bad this thing that is happening to us, nobody even knows or understands how bad we want to change, but yet nobody ever believes that we can or will change, nobody has any faith in us, we need to know that somebody is behind us, cheering us on, but nobody is, and nobody ever will be
  • We don’t want to live like this, in constant fear, with so much anxiety, and since we can’t change like everybody says, we’re doomed
  • We don’t deserve good things
  • We deserve to suffer
  • It’s not our fault that we’re like this, but nobody cares about that, we still get blamed for everything
Amber Joy Kostecki
Amber Joy Kostecki

I am an artist, a mother, a coffee addict, and I live with Borderline Personality Disorder everyday. I started a nonprofit support group for BPD almost three years ago, and I do a lot of research on Borderline and other mental health subjects. Please follow the links below to check out all of my BPD social media.

“To anyone suffering with Mental Illness, you are one badass motherfucker because nothing is more terrifying than battling with your own mind every single day”

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